Wednesday, May 4, 2011

The Shrink

I was starting to get a little frustrated. I have lost weight. Lots of weight. From my highest, non-pregnant weight (202) I have lost 39 pounds, from my last, lowest, pre-pregnancy weight I have lost 20 pounds. Yet I still fit into the same pants. How is that? Well, the truth is, that is just how it felt.

I had regular pants, mostly size 14 and one pair of magic size 12's, and I had fat pants, mostly size 16 AND one magical pair of 14's. I have owned most of those pants for 7 or 8 years.

Last week I decided to try on a pair of button fly jeans that never really fit right. Well, they still didn't fit right. They were way too big, they were falling off. I was quite surprised. I almost put them back in the drawer, but then I thought to myself "I am never going to wear these jeans again" and I happily tossed them into the donation box.

I then tried on my other pants, for months they had been fitting better, then getting looser, now I realized that I needed to wear belts with most of them. YEAH! I tried on some of my skirts and I discovered that I had the same problem. I needed a new skirt, and possibly a new pair of pants.

Yesterday I went to Target, I had a gift card and I figured they might have a skirt. I found some very simple black skirts and picked up a large to try on. It didn't fit right. It frustrated me a little, I needed a new skirt. Then it struck me, it didn't fit right because it was TOO BIG, a large was too big! I hustled out and grabbed a medium. It fit, and I wasn't even making it fit, it was a perfect fit. I could have cried. Then I saw some cute tops and cardigans. I wondered if I fit well into Medium Bottoms, why not try Medium Tops- once again, perfect fit! I don't know when I have ever been so excited to get to the check out and buy my clothes. I kind of felt like I needed to buy them before they shrank and didn't fit anymore, those clothes were like a ticking time bomb, I had to make them mine IMMEDIATELY, and I did!

Today I was at the store with my boys and I remembered that for Christmas my boys had given me some workout clothes- They are smart boys, they let me pick out the clothes- and one of the items they had given me were a pair of Medium exercise pants. Medium- according to those pants equated to size 8 and 10. I haven't tried those pants on, I was saving them for when I knew they would fit, I figured that would be in September around the time I will run my 1/2 Marathon. But I had just purchased a Medium skirt. My mind went back and forth, Skirts are different from pants, just because you can wear a Medium Skirt doesn't mean you can wear Medium Pants. But I wanted to try. I found some cute Size 10 Capri pants. I was just trying them on. Even if I could just get them over my hips I would be happy. If I could zip them up I would be ecstatic. If they actually fit and looked and felt good I would buy them.

Well, I have a new pair of size 10 pants! The first pair of size 10 anything I have ever purchased, in my life. It is odd. I don't feel very different. I feel healthier, I think I look skinnier but not 2 or 3 sizes skinnier. I am amazed. I am happy. I decided that I would just buy the one pair of pants and the one skirt and the shirts. I want to see what happens next. After all, I have 25 or so more pounds to lose before I reach my goal weight. So how much more will I shrink?

In the end, I just want to be healthy. I want to nourish and strengthen my body. I want to be happy with my healthy body- whatever size, however I look. I think I have a pretty good chance to be happy.

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