It could have been worse...

Last Week- 183.8

This Week- 183.4

________________

Total Lost- 0.4

I am happy with this half pound (I figure it is close enough to a .5 right). This weekend was a big one.

We had Family over on Saturday and Sunday and I had to get the house ready for them, I did not

exercise on, Friday or Saturday and I also gave into a few to many temptations on those days too.

But as I said, It could have been worse, I am very happy with my half pound.

The Miracle of Christmas

With the Holidays coming up, and also the fact that my sons nap times have not been long lately and I have been waking up at odd hours of the night and finding it hard to go back to sleep, I have decided to start practicing "Maintenance". I figure at some point I am going to get to my goal weight, and once that happens I am going to need to learn how to maintain, so why not practice during a time of year that notorious for weight gain.

So I am going to allow myself to cut back a bit on the exercise, maybe take a nap or two, stay healthy and continue to watch my caloric intake and hopefully over the next 2-3 weeks I will be able to maintain the weight I have lost.

I feel like this is a pretty good goal, one that I can handle.

Happy Holidays!

I must have done somethign good....

Last Week- 187.2

This Week- 183.8

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Total Lost- 3.4 pounds!!!!!!!

YES! YES! YES! It was not an amazing week and so the amazing 3.4 pounds lost really surprises me.

I got a cold, and didn't really have the energy to burn my goal of 500 calories per day, so half the time I only did 250, but I did something and that is what counts.

I also got new shoes that made my feet go numb, I cried. When I returned to the store to exchange them I discovered that my feet are actually a size larger than I thought (really strange since the perfect and worn out pair of shoes I was replacing were that smaller size and as I said, they were PERFECT). The new shoes seem to work well.

Here's to hoping that this week is just as good.

Happy Holidays Ahead!

I am predicting a happy holiday season for me, especially if I can maintain this weight loss. I have been amazed at what the last two weeks have brought me, considering that two weeks ago we had Thanksgiving and last week we had the first of many Holiday Parties, and by some Miracle I have still been able to lose weight. The fact my weight loss over the past two weeks has dramatically exceeded my expectations is adding to my Christmas Spirit in an amazing way. I feel like George Bailey, I want to run down the middle of the street screaming "Merry Christmas Everybody! I lost 3 pounds this week, Merry Christmas TO ME!"

Last week I put in an application to participate in a local weight loss/fitness challenge. I am not sure how long they have been doing it, but last year "Utah Valley Magazine" picked 5 local people and gave them each a trainer for a year. We happened to get a copy of the magazine this last month and in it I read about the final results for each of the contestants. At the end of that article there was a request for entries/contestants for the 2010 challenge. I mulled it over for a few days and then I picked the magazine up again and realized that it wasn't even my magazine- it was my neighbors and it had been delivered to our house by mistake and I thought "Kate, the stars aligned to get you this information, this chance, you have to at least try". And so I did. Last week I put in my entry. I explained my case- that no I am not Obese, but I am Overweight and I need help. Now I guess I sit and wait to see if they ever let me know if I am in or not. I have had some good laughs this week as I have realized that I am losing a good amount of weight on my own. I told them in my entry that this year I realized that my body seems to "Like" to weigh 202 pounds but I don't like that, and so I have been trying on my own the entire year, yet all I have seemed to do is consistently lose, then gain, then lose again, the same 15 pounds. I explained that as of the time I submitted my entry I weighed 187.2 pounds. The reason I have been laughing is that I seem to have over come that 15 pound limit. This week I lost 3.2 pounds bringing me to 18 pounds lost, and I feel really good about the next few weeks and months, if I can continue to lose, even just 1 to 1.5 pounds per week over the next few weeks I could be below 180 before I even hear if I was selected or not- it is really a catch-22, I could pig out, gain some weight back and be a better candidate for selection, or I could keep going on my own, possibly get picked and have only 25 pounds left to go, would they reconsider picking me if I lost too much weight on my own? I decided that what happens is what is supposed to happen, if I get picked and I quickly meet my goal weight in a few months, maybe I can talk the trainer into helping me get really toned! If I don't get picked, I still know that I can do it on my own, it may take a little longer, but I have a new confidence in my self and my abilities.

I have also been baffled the past two weeks, because I have been losing good amounts of weight by doing less strenuous exercises, walking instead of running and focusing a lot on getting some good stretching in before and after each workout. I have a theory, that my body gets used to the same workout and so when I realize that I am not losing consistently I should just switch it up a bit and jump start my body again.

I am excited. I am happy, super happy. I am proud that I didn't give up when it hurt and when things just didn't seem to be going my way. The grass is greener, on the other side of the hill, and if I just keep going, keep trudging along, I will eventually get there.

Delightful!

Last Week- 189.0

This Week- 187.2

________________

Total Lost- 1.8 pounds!

For a week that includes a day set apart for Giving Thanks and then eating way to much food, I think 1.8 pounds is Miraculous!

Determination

It was Thanksgiving. I love Thanksgiving. I love the Turkey and the Potatoes and I also love the Desserts. I was worried that this would be a bad week but I was determined to do something about it. I set a goal to get at least 5 workouts in per week and I decided that Thanksgiving Day was not a day to take a break and so not only did I work out that day, but I did extra. I was hoping to burn 1000 calories, but as I got to 550 calories I was thinking that 750 sounded good and then as I passed 99 minutes on the treadmill I discovered something. My treadmill will only let you work out for 99min and 59 seconds, after that it shuts down. Sure I could have started it up again, but then I would probably have to do math and add my two caloric burn totals together and it was a holiday after all, so I was happy with the 680 calories.

Well my determination paid off, because I actually lost weight this week! YEAH! Proof that if you count your calories and burn calories, eventually, you will loose weight.

Part of me wonders if switching my workouts, from running to walking, gave my body a little bit of a shock, allowing it to start losing again. Whatever happened, I am happy! Just 40-45 more pounds to go!

Weigh-ins for the last month

Well, long story short, I have gained a few pounds and then lost a few pounds...it has not been fun.

Last Month- 187.0

Last Week- 191.0

_____________

Total Gained- +4.0

Last Week- 191.0

Saturday- 186.8 (I got Food Poisoning)

_____________

Total Lost -4.2

We will look on the bright side for this next one and forget about 186.8

Last Week- 191.0

This Week- 189.0

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Total Lost -2.0

This is what I have learned from my experience with Food Poisoning over the weekend and how I think it relates to weight loss.

It seems like I have heard a lot about "Cleanses" when it comes to weight loss. They are the diets where you don't get to eat food, just drink. And even then you don't get to drink anything yummy. Cleanses clean you out. All the gunk that hangs out in your digestive track, it helps you get rid of it. But that is nothing that a good case of food poisoning can't do for you. And look, I lost four pounds......but look again the next day I gained 2 pounds back. I think I will settle for slow methodical weight loss through diet and exercise.

Time for a Change

A Change of Shoes....and maybe more.

So it has been a while. I have been slightly ashamed at my lack of weight loss. Things started to look up a couple of weeks ago when my Brother in Law offered to be my Weight Loss Buddy. We are friends on Facebook and we have told each other our goals and follow up with each other, anytime we work out we type each other a little message. Both of us have felt the need to work out so that we wouldn't have to tell each other that we didn't.....and also so that we could be congratulated by our buddy for the good work we did. During the first week I rediscovered my new found love- yes love- of running. It feels good....that is until it doesn't. My knee started to hurt, then the hurt went away and then it came back. I have no idea what caused it but it worries me. So I have asked a lot of questions of my friends and family and I have come up with a plan.

It seems that running shoes wear out on the inside long before they wear out on the outside. And running in shoes that have been worn too much can cause your knees to hurt. So I am going to purchase some New Shoes.

I am also going to walk for a few weeks instead of run. I was a little mad about this for a while because running burns calories quicker than walking- and when workout time has to coincide with my little boys nap time I need the quickest workout I can find. I was happily enjoying 90 minutes of walking/running and burning 750+ calories. I decided that I would set the goal to burn 500 per day that I am able to work out, which is hopefully 5 days per week. Today I was able to walk, with the treadmill on an incline of 1, for 82 minutes and I burned 500 calories. This makes me happy because this can be done during nap time. And if nap time doesn't happen I am blessed to have a Sweet Husband who will watch the non napper after he gets home so that I can get a workout it.

I am also working hard to count my calories. I use My Plate on Livestrong.com and boy is it helpful. Hopefully if I burn 2500 calories per week through workouts and can stick to a 1600 calorie per day diet, I will start to lose weight again.

I am tired of maintaining and gaining, I am ready to lose and I think that my body might be too.... here's to hoping!

Time Flies

It is important to be honest, and honestly I have not been on track with eating right and working out the past few weeks, which is why there has been blogging silence. I had a wonderful vacation and I actually worked out twice during the vacation which is really good, I think. I have been working a lot more than usual the past two months and I have cut back to my normal- up to 8 hours per week- and so I should have plenty of time. I have told myself that if I get a good work out in during the babies nap time that I will feel just as good as if I had taken a nap myself- I hope I haven't lied.

On Monday I even turned my treadmill around so it faced the TV- thinking that if I could watch a show or two while running I would run longer. Well I proved today that my thinking was right- I worked out for a full hour- burned 530 calories and ran/walked/climbed 3.8 miles. My spacial reasoning skills were flawed on Monday though and I shattered an electrical outlet and put a hole in the wall- I am just glad it wasn't caught on tape.

So I am trying, hopefully in a week or two I will feel up to a weekly weigh in, but I am not going to push myself too quickly (I am scared that I have done some damage these past few weeks, I don't know if my Ego can take the scale just yet). I will be sharing my thought though. So if there is anyone out there- Check back soon and send me your happy thoughts.

Someone out there Loves Me!

Last week 187.6

This week 187.0

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Total Lost- 0.6

That's Half a pound! And I didn't do anything to deserve it. It was totally an act of God! (especially if you consider the fact that this is normally the week of the month that I gain weight- water weight, food cravings, all of those fun things that come from the 28 day cycle of a woman's life.)

Next week- I am shooting for a pound, and then maybe in a couple of weeks I will be able to do 2 or more pounds a week.

Only Mostly Dead.....

So it has been a month since I last ran. I went down last Monday to run, and I walked. I told myself I would walk for an hour, I only got to the 20 minute mark when I convinced myself I was both bored and so tired that I was at risk of falling off the treadmill. My commitment to my health seemed to have died.

Yesterday was Monday. I usually weigh in on Mondays, but I didn't. I was scared, after all, I hadn't exercised and I was pretty sure that the spoonfuls of cold fudge ice cream topping, and hand fulls of chocolate chips I had eaten were bound to catch up with me the moment I stepped on that scale. As I got ready for bed last night I saw a list I made about a year ago. It is called "Kate's Reasons to Change". I printed off several copies of this list and placed them around the house, on the mirrors in my bathroom and bedroom, on the refrigerator and next to my treadmill. I was hoping that I would see my reasons to change often and I would remember why I need, and want, to try so hard. Well it worked, I read part of the list as I was brushing my teeth and I remembered why I want to be healthy.

Here is my list if reasons to change-

1- So that I will be healthier- I don’t want to have constant questions in my mind about whether or not I am slowly killing myself. I want to know that I am doing all I can to avoid Diabetes’s and Heart Disease.

2- If I am this cute now- Imagine how cute I will be later!

3- I don’t want to look pregnant when I am not pregnant

4- I want my clothes to fit- I want even smaller clothes to fit me.

5- I want to run and not be weary and walk and not faint

6- I want to feel more attractive

7- In the future I want to have easier pregnancies

8- I want to have more energy

9- I want to have a stronger body

10- I want to be able to hold my baby for as long as he wants/needs to be held- he is getting really heavy, which for him is good

11- Maybe some of my aches and pains will go away

12- I want to be inspiring to others who want to change too

It was number 10 that really got to me last night, my baby is 18 months old and he weights almost 27 pounds and I love to hold him, but sometimes it is hard to carry around that much extra weight. And then it hit me, I want to loose that much and more. A few months ago I weighed 202 pounds, this morning when I talked myself onto the scale, I weighed 187. That is 15 pounds, and that is wonderful. So why do I get so scared, why do I talk myself out of exercising and then into eating the things I shouldn't.

All I can do now is be grateful that my commitment to a healthier me is not dead, it was only Mostly Dead. With a little love, for myself and my future, my commitment can be revived. I am actually pretty happy today. I have told myself that becoming healthy and getting to the weight that my doctors have encouraged me to be at is possible, I have also told myself that I can do this on my own by eating well and exercising and that there is no need for me to take any pills or drink any teas so that I can loose weight. I have given myself a year to loose roughly 60 pounds. And the fact that I have lost 15 pounds in about 3 months is proof that this is not only possible, but I can mess up a few times, and slack of a few times, and I am still going to be able to achieve my goal.

Wish me Luck!

Miracle Maintenance

Previous Weight 188.2

Last Week - 187.8

__________________

Total Lost -0.4 pounds

Last Week 187.8

This Week - 187.6

__________________

Total Lost -0.2 pounds

Not bad for doing absolutely nothing to lose weight. Add in there that we had friends over for a scrumptious brunch and attended a wedding, wedding dinner buffet and ate many left over wedding treats the next day. I must have been doing something right. If anything these past two lazy weeks have shown me that when it comes time to Maintain- I will be able to do it.

Energy and the Lack Thereof

One of Life's Perfect Storms seems to have hit me. I have been working more than usually- twice as much in fact. I had some knee pain while running a few weeks ago, that combined with the fact that I had just finished a period and was extremely tired, and so I "Allowed" myself to rest. I say "allowed" because I think I would have been fine, maybe even had more energy, if I had just kept exercising, but I talked myself into resting...I think that was a mistake.

So for the past two weeks, I haven't done much. I haven't really tracked my eating, I haven't exercised at all. And now I am starting all over again. I hope that this is a fluke and not an ongoing problem. But this blog will help me see if it is.

The one bright side is that I have been able to maintain my weight over these past two weeks. Even though I wasn't physically tracking my food intake, I have made better food choices and have been able to keep a mental tally of my daily calories. So yes the Perfect Storm hit, but my dreams have not been destroyed.

It's all Downhill from Here

Two Weeks ago- 190.8

Last Week- 189.8

_________________

Total Lost 1.0 Pounds

Hey, I guess I should have been pretty happy, a pound is good.

Last week- 189.8

This week- 188.2

_________________

Total Lost 1.6 Pounds

OK, I am happy again. See you next week.

World Gone Crazy

OK, so I didn't post last week because I was mad! MAD, MAD, MAD! I broke my rule and weighed myself on Saturday and I had lost 2.2 pounds, I was ecstatic, then when I had my official weigh in on Monday I had gained 2 pounds! 2 pounds in 2 days! WHAT?!?! So I was a big baby and didn't want to fess up to the fact that in a week I lost 0.2 pounds. I guess I should have been happy because it was a loss right, but because I had seen the scale two days before it felt like I had gained.

But I am back, I am repentant and I am very confused. This past week has been a horrible week exercise-wise, I only worked out on Monday. And food-wise I ate whatever I wanted. I totally fell off the wagon because it was that most wonderful time of the month. I don't think that my hormones affected anyone but me, but looking back I really see that they totally affected me.

The good news is, I lost weight his week. The bad news is, I am still really tired and drained. I guess I just have to get back on the horse- or the treadmill really.....Maybe on Wednesday.

Plateau

Last week- 190.0

This week- 190.8

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Gained 0.8

GgggRrrrrr

Frustrations and Triumphs

I guess I didn't try hard enough last week, I had a couple of days when I didn't eat enough and a couple of days when I ate too much. So I guess it makes total sense that I gained more than half a pound (really not too much) because my body thought it was starving and then the next day I gave it extra and so it saved everything it could. I will do better this week, and hopefully, I will finally break the 190 barrier, if I don't I think I will cry.

On a different note, I did something amazing this week. I ran a 5k on Saturday, and I ran the entire race, no walking. We arrived at the race location at 7:30, and as I got out of the car I realized that I didn't have my Ipod, I was a little scared because I had trained with the Ipod, specifically with songs that would help me keep my pace. I had been running the course for 2 weeks and I had yet to finish without walking. I was very comfortable running at about a 4.3 mph pace and I was sure I would be able to run the entire race......until I lost the Ipod. I have a pretty good memory for music and so as I started I just sang the songs to myself, eventually I felt like I had the beat/pace down pretty well and I felt really good running. I finished in 41 min 45 seconds. The course is actually 3.5 miles long and I did the math after I got home, I ran close to a 5 mph pace! I was amazed. When I went out to run this morning I chose a new song, one with a faster beat and sure enough my first mile was exactly 12 minutes, which for me is great.

So this week was a week of Triumphs and Frustrations. I can deal with that. I am going to beat this plateau in weight and continue on my quest for health and weight loss. I am going to be fine, even if I do end up crying a little.

So Close!

Last Week- 191.6

This Week- 190.0

________________

Total Lost- 1.6 pounds

I had hoped to break the 190 barrier, but looks like my body wanted to sit on the fence for a little bit. But hey, I am still pretty happy. I lost 1.6 pounds this week. I feel good. I am going to run a 5k this Saturday and I am 99% sure that I will be able to run the entire thing! That is amazing to me, I am going to be really proud and I am pretty sure that I am going to tell you all about it next Monday. Until then, Wish me Luck!

One Year, One Goal

I set a goal this weekend, or at least I verbalized what I have been thinking in my head for a while. My goal is to get to 140 pounds in the next year. After that my goal will be maintaining a healthy weight for the rest of my life.

I finally verbalized this goal when my sister was telling me about her recent experiences with weight loss. She mentioned that her body seems to have plateaued at 168 pounds, it likes it there, doesn't want to budge.

I didn't say it out loud but I am afraid that my body likes to weight 202 pounds, that is were it seemed to like to stay all last year. Then in October 2008 I decided that I was not OK with that number and that things had to change, and for a while they did, I think I lost 10 pounds pretty quickly, but then the holidays came and in January I found myself right back at 202. I tried weight loss shakes, they were yummy, I lost weight but then lost interest and was on my way back up to 202 when I decided, once again, that I had to do something. This time, that something is much cheaper, and much simpler. I am counting my calories and exercising. That is it. (Remember all of this was in my head)

I then told her I completely understood what it was like to have your body like a certain weight, and want to stay there. I also told her that my goal was to get down to 140 and that in the past month or so I had lost 5 pounds. She asked me how much more I needed to lose. "Oh, about 50 pounds" was the answer that so easily came out of my mouth. I started doing the math in my head- that is 25% of my body! Then my sister asked if I was willing to put some money behind my goal. "What, Like a bet?" No, not like a bet, she asked me if I had ever heard of the HCG diet. I have. I have a friend who recently lost 50 pounds using HCG. But I just don't know about taking anything, or buying anything. The fact is that losing weight and being healthy is pretty simple, but it is also quite hard. It's a double edged sword.

I know people who used phen-fen, who now have to visit a cardiologist ever year or so to make sure they don't have heart damage. This is something that was prescribed to them by doctors. They lost weight, but then gained it back. Because of that situation I am really leery about taking things to help me lose weight. And so, for now, I won't.

I told my sister that I was going to give myself a year to lose that pesky 50 pounds, and if at the end of the year I was struggling I would probably talk to my Doctor, get some advice- who knows, I could have Poly cystic Ovarian Syndrome or something like that that makes it hard to loose weight, if after that year my doctors says "You know, try this, it will help you get the success you are looking for" then maybe I will try it.

But for now, it is just me, Livestrong.com's MyPlate- to help me count the calories, and my trusty New Balance Shoes. Give us a year, and we will change my life.

OK, so I ate a brownie...or two

Last week- 193.8

This week- 191.6

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Total Lost- 2.2!

That is right, 2.2 pounds! YEAH! I was kind of scared. This past week has been hard. The baby has been sick, and I have been dealing with the lovely gift Mother Nature likes to bestow upon me every few weeks. I didn't exercise like I should have, in fact the only days last week that I got any exercise were Monday and Saturday. But I did track my food, I counted those calories (most days, the day of the brownies I didn't bother) and I did it, I lost weight! YEAH ME!

Now, lets see if I can keep it going. Hopefully next Monday I will discover that I have I have passed the 190 mark- going the right way this time....

Slow and Steady

In two weeks I am going to run a 5k. I hope to be able to completely run it, but if I can keep the walking to less than a quarter mile, I will be happy. I usually run on the treadmill, but I know, for my body, there is a huge difference between treadmill running and street running. Basically, I believe that my treadmill has an anti-gravity function, and I believe it is always on.

Anti-gravity? Yes. Why would I believe this? Because I can run 1 or 2 miles on the treadmill without a problem and then after a little walk break I can run another mile or 2. But the moment I step outside and try to run, well, it is almost like I am being sucked into the ground, it is hard to move, I guess it would be like running while wearing cement shoes. The only way I can explain this is Gravity. Gravity is pulling harder on me.....well that or the street doesn't move like the deck of my treadmill does.

So, back to the 5k. Knowing that this 5k is going to be run outside, where gravity lurks, I decided that I would practice. On Saturday I left my sweet baby and husband to care for each other and drove down to the race site. And I ran. Outside. It really wasn't too bad. I have no idea how long it took me, I figure it was somewhere around 50 minutes, which is pretty good considering that I walked quite a bit of it. Hey, that gravity is hard to deal with sometimes. I used MapMyRun.com to figure out how far I walked and ran, I walked about a mile of the 3.4 mile course. Yes, for some strange reason this 5k is a little more than 5 kilometers.

I felt pretty good about my run and I decided that I would run the route three times a week for the next two weeks, hoping that the practice will pay off and I will be able to finish the 5k before the walkers do.

This morning I borrowed a friends running stroller and the 17 month-old 25 pound boy of mine took off on our very own 5k. I wasn't sure how it would go, after all, I was going to be pushing 30 pounds in front of me this time, but I did great. This time I only walked 1/2 a mile! I realized that the last mile I was running really slow. I am pretty sure someone walking moderately fast could have passed me. I laughed at myself. I probably looked pretty silly, but I didn't let that get me down. I decided that Slow and Steady Wins the Race, especially if the race is against yourself.

I know that there will be people, who have amazing anti gravity shoes and clothing, who will finish the 5k in 25 minutes, maybe even less, but I am not competing against them, I am competing against myself and I don't care if I run slowly, as long as I keep running, I will win.

I think that this is true about my weight loss as well. Slow and Steady will help me. I am pretty sure I have heard that the faster you lose weight, the easier it is to gain back. So I have set to goal to lose between 2 & 3 pounds per week. At this pace it will take me 25 to 30 weeks to lose the weight I need to lose. Slow and Steady, it may take longer, I may only lose a pound per week, but as long as I am losing, as long as I am becoming more healthy, I am winning. I am in a race with myself and I like my odds.

Something Gained

Last Week- 192.8

This Week- 193.8

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+1.0

Yes, I gained a pound, but I am OK with that. After all, we did go on a short vacation, and so basically I was able to maintain, and that is pretty good.

Not too Shabby

We went on vacation, and I didn't let it all go by the wayside. Yes I did eat way too many treats while I spent 13 or 14 hours in the car, and I did enjoy myself at the yummy buffet at the Family party on Sunday afternoon, but I also exercised each day. And in the end I was able to pretty much maintain my weight, gaining just 1 pound, it could have been much much worse. I am pleased with this past week.

Vacations are hard for those of us who are trying to lose weight, mostly because you are not at home. You are in someone elses house, with their food and their secret snacks (got to love the giant bag of M&M's in the cupboard) . And of course, at parties, there are the deserts, so many yummy deserts, and I did have a few of those.

On Friday and Monday I spent 40 minutes walking with our friend and host for the trip. On Saturday I tried to run my very own 5k. I say tried to run because I picked a pretty hilly route and didn't quite make it up each hill, but once I got to the top I would start running again. I also didn't quite get the distance right, either that or I ran really fast, finishing the 5k 8 minutes faster than I ever have before...yeah, I probably just got the distance wrong, I don't think I can run that fast.

But all in all, I am happy. I could have easily gained 5 pounds. Now that we are home I am starting to really focus on preparing for a real 5k at the end of the month, and I also and happy to be able to use the Daily Plate on livestrong.com. I have high hopes for next weeks weigh in.

Small Triumphs

Last week- 195.4

This week- 192.8

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Total loss 2.6 Pounds

I am very happy with 2.6 especially as that was my goal! 2.5 per week. I really only worked out twice this week on the treadmill, but I had a very busy week full of walking to the park and chasing kids around, so I guess it is true that if you have an active day, you burn calories. Hopefully I can keep up the weight loss this week- we are going out of town......in the past if I was dieting and going out of town I would ditch the diet while we are gone, but I am going to try my very best to stay true to my goals. So, check back next week to see how I did.

Caloric Confusion

If you are like me and have no Idea how many calories are in the things you eat, and have no desire to carry around a little book or pieces of paper that tell you how many calories the foods have, then I have a treat for you. It is called MyPlate and it is found on livestrong.com. Last Monday I was completely confused about Calories and how many I needed to eat in order to avoid starving my body and still be able to lose weight, and then I remembered Livestrong.com. My sister told me about it a few months ago and I thought is was cool, but now I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it! You can search for what you eat, tell it how much of it you ate, and it will tell you what your daily caloric intake was, as well as the percentages of Carbs, Fats and Proteins you have eaten that day. So far, 99% of the time, I have been able to find things I eat, and not just the ingredients but the finished products, like Recipezaar's Flourless Peanut Butter Cookies and Tatertot Casserole! This has made it so easy to track my food, it has become my computerized food diary- and if I need to show my doctor, I can just print it off and take it in to her office.

There is one part of the MyPlate that has confused me this week. You can tell the program how much weight you want to lose each week, it takes into account your height and current weight, and then sets a caloric goal for you. When you enter foods it subtracts them from your goal and tells you how much more you can eat that day. It also has a section where you can enter your exercises for the day.....my confusion comes from the fact that it adds however many calories you burned back into your Goal for the day. For example, if I had 600 calories left for the day and I entered that I had burned 500 calories on the treadmill, my caloric goal would go up to 11oo. And that got me wondering, do I need to take in more calories when I burn a lot of calories, to avoid my body feeling like I am starving it, when you are loosing weight the last thing you want is for your body to think that it needs to save ever calorie you eat, that just sucks.

So over the next few weeks I am going to do an experiment. I will try it both ways. I will eat only the original caloric goal for a week or two, and then I will eat the original goal, plus the extra calories that I burned during my work out. I think that I will lose weight either way, but I am interested in losing weight in a way that my body is happy and comfortable with, so that I won't just gain it back next year.

I think that I will use MyPlate for a long time, especially when I am done losing and trying my best to maintain, because I can set my goal to maintain my weight and it will continue to do the same things, tell me how much I can eat and track how well I do each day.

Take one down, Pass it around

OK, I broke my rule about only weighing myself once a week. I just love the fact that after a good workout I weigh less and I had some good workouts this week. But apparently I had some good meals too.

This morning I weighed 195.4, so I lost 1 pound!

That is better than gaining one pound, so I am happy. This week I burned 2,294 calories on the treadmill, and then I went to a family reunion and ate a piece of cake that probably had close to 2,000 calories in it, it was a yummy piece of cake.

I feel good about last week, I worked out every day that I could. I ran and walked on the treadmill during my sons nap time. Most days I did 60 minutes, and each time I ran I tried to run a little farther than the previous time.

The Awful Truth

So here it is- this morning I weighed 196.4 pounds. This makes me sad because on Saturday I weighed 194.2…. what did I eat!?!

I know exactly what I ate, Cinnamon Rolls for Breakfast, a whole lot of pasta salad and watermelon at dinner, and too many bites of chocolate cake. I hope I learned my lesson, I also hope that much of that 2.2 pounds is watermelon trying to work its way out of my system, I know that is really a dumb thing to hope for, but it gets me by. The sad part is, I really have nothing and no one to blame but myself.

I will say that I am mad at the human body, my body specifically. What gives it the right to fluctuate its weight so wildly within just a days or even few hours. This must be why they say only to weigh yourself only once per week, or every two weeks or a month. So, because I don’t want to cry, and I can prevent myself from the agony of seeing myself go up and down 1-2 pounds per day, I am making a rule. I will only weigh myself on Monday Mornings.

The Price We Pay

There are two things on my mind this morning, Exercise and Food.

On the Exercise front, I have a new goal to get 60 minutes of exercise per day. I made this goal on Saturday because I walked for 60 minutes and went 3.5 miles. Yes it took a long time, but I felt good afterwards, physically and mentally. I only burned 360 or so calories, but I figure that as I add some running in to that hour long workout the calories I burn will increase and I will see some good weight loss and health benefits.

On the food front I have another issue. We have a food budget of $190 per month for our family of three. Of that, $50 is specifically for my 16-month-old son, so that leaves $140 per month for the two adults in the house. It seems like a ton but we spend it each month easily and this month we spent it way too fast, so fast in fact that last week and this week I am not buying any food for my husband and I. We have and will continue to eat, we have a freezer full of meats, freezer meals and frozen soups that I have made over the past 4-6 months and I will be making some bread today, so we are not starving by any means. But I am amazed at how quickly that $140 goes. We buy mostly produce, as it is healthy and we have been trying to eat more vegetables over the past 3 months. I also have been doing my best to only buy the produce that is on sale, so it is not like I am paying astronomical prices for produce, but still where does all the money go? I miss my produce, I didn’t have any tomatoes last week, and I really did miss them. There is a light at the end of the food tunnel this week, on Saturday I get to go pick up our Utah Food Co-Op purchase, YEAH! Fresh produce again, and then in two weeks the food budget starts all over again, and I will be able to go shopping. I am glad that we have a stocked pantry, freezer, and some food storage, even though it may not be the healthiest food, I feel blessed that we have it, and we know where our next meal is coming from.

Why does this pertain to a blog about weight loss? Well, it is because it got me wondering about how easy or hard it will be for me to buy the types of food that will help me lose weight. I have also been thinking about something I heard recently about the cost of food and the Health of Americans in general. I don’t think I caught the whole news story, but I did catch a part about of a news program about how the cost of food is going up, and especially the cost of healthy foods, they spoke to a family who basically at fast food hamburgers because it was cheaper than anything else they could find. That is just sad. Then this morning when I realized that we had $16 left in our food budget this month I started thinking about all the weight loss programs that provide food for you, some of them even claim that you spend less on their food than you would if you were buying and preparing your own food, I am sure that for some people this might be true, and I am also sure that many people lose weight this way. But what happens after you stop their program. Do they teach you how to cook better foods for yourself? Should it be this hard to try to get healthy? I guess this is the price I pay for becoming unhealthy in the first place.19

A Brief History of Me

I'll say it quickly, I never learned to love exercises in any form. That was a big mistake, PE just wasn't fun in school. I tried to join the basketball team but they preferred my managerial skills to anything I showed them on the court. I joined the track team then quickly sprained my ankle while running in place, yes it is true, I am not very coordinated. When I was able to run again I found that I couldn't breath easily and quite often after a warm up run I would vomit, the doctor diagnosed me with Exercise Induced Asthma and I pretty much gave up running and was convinced that exercise just wasn't for me.

In the 15 or so years since then I have traveled, studied, dated, married and had a child. I have had a good life. I have eaten great food, yummy food and at times way too much food. I have not exercised enough and as such I have gained at least 50 pounds. I love myself, I have a pretty good self image, I believe that I am intelligent, pretty and funny, but none of that changes the fact that I have not been good to my body. People are very surprised to find out what I weigh. I carry it well, or I am well proportioned, that is what I say to people who are surprised to hear my how much I weigh. But I also think that we as Americans are just so used to most of us being overweight that we can't tell who is, after all, if my friend is fat and she is the same weight as me then I must be fat too, and so I will just convince myself that we are both fine, right? Wrong, I have deluded myself in the past and I can't and won't do it anymore.

My weight has always been my most closely guarded secret, and I think that is one of the reasons that I have let myself get to this point, because I carry my weight well and no one really knows, but I know.

It was 2 and a half years ago that I hit the 200 pound mark, 202 to be exact. I was crushed, I had to make a change. I had tried to make changes previously, I tried to walk myself thin when I was about 19 years old, I don't think I tried very hard and I didn't get thin or continue walking for exercise. When I was 25 some work friends and I would walk together. We were lucky enough to work at a hospital that had an exercise room in the basement. I found out at that point that I was above 30% body fat, seriously 1/3rd of my body was fat, it disgusted me enough to keep me walking for months and I did lose 15-20 pounds, then I switched jobs, lost the support group and eventually stopped walking. A few years later I got married and it was almost 2 years after my wedding that my scale broke my heart.

I remember it was in January, the previous year had been hard, we had been trying to conceive for 8 months and I was very frustrated. The fact that I weighed over 200 pounds was too much and I vowed to make a change, I was going to run, running would work, running would help me lose weight and I would eventually learn to love it. I talked my husband into buying me a treadmill, it was my Valentines Gift that year, and seriously it was a great gift. A couple of my sisters and I decided that we needed a goal, we would run a 5k in July. I started slowly, running for a minute or two then walking then running. It worked. By July I had lost 25 pounds, I was so proud to weigh 177. I was proud that my clothes, some that I hadn't been able to wear in years, fit me again and I was also proud that I was able to run a 5k. I will admit that I walked a little of that 5k, but hey, running outside is amazingly different from running on a treadmill. But I did it, I was healthier than I had been in years, I was proud of myself and what I had accomplished and two weeks after the race, I found out I was pregnant!

Have you ever thrown up daily for 8 months? I have. Pregnancy was hard, I was tired and I stopped running. I was nauseated and yet ravenous at the same time. I gained 60 pounds. Yes, 60 pounds, I think I topped out at 232. That number saddens me but considering I was pregnant at the time it doesn't hurt my ego as much as 202 does. About 3 weeks after my sweet baby was born I got the courage step on the scale and I was back down to 200 pounds, 30 pounds lost in 3 weeks, probably 30 pounds lost in 2 or 3 days. I was pretty sure I would easily get back down to 175, I was wrong. I started running again after being given to OK, but I had no goal and even though I got back to being able to run 3.2 miles on the treadmill I eventually stopped. I told myself I was too tired, that I didn't have any time, but really what I was telling myself was that I didn't care. I should have cared then and I do now.

Last October I saw the dreaded 202 on the scale again and I told myself that I loved myself more than this. I sat down and wrote down all the reasons I could think of for me to change my life and my habits and I made myself some rules and a list of rewards (until this moment I had forgotten about the rules and rewards) I lost a few pounds and I was pleased. Then I got tired and lost track of my goal. January rolled around and I decided that maybe I would try the Kirkland Weight Loss Shakes, and they worked, I lost 5 pounds quickly, and then a few more, but I knew that I wouldn't be happy drinking my breakfast for the rest of my life and I also knew that the money spent on those shakes could go to better purposes and so I stopped. I had a plan though, I read "Eat to Live" by Dr. Joel Fuhrman, very informational and inspiring. My family eats better now, we eat more fruits and vegetable and less meat, and I did lose a few pounds, but in order to lose as much as I need to lose I would pretty much have to cut out all the sugary treats that I love.....or I could run.

And so I am going to run. I am going to set some goals, my first one is to run a 5k at the end of August. My second goal is to not eat an entire cake just because it is sitting on the counter. I think I can accomplish these goals, and yes I am serious about the second one, I am pretty sure I am addicted to sugar and I am a really really bad addict.

So that is a brief history of me. I plan to use this blog to track my progress, so at least weekly I will be posting my stats, it is how I am going to stay honest with myself. But I will also be sharing my feelings about the process as well. I don't know if anyone will ever find this blog, but if you happen to run across it, and feel like wishing me luck, please do so. It is never bad to have positive friends around.

And now, I think I will go see how far I can run...oh, and by the way, my exercised induced asthma, not a problem anymore.